Gorgeous Ponderings...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Blog Beefin (my own) whaat you??? yep.

Get ready for my longest post EVER!! And also an introduction to the another side of GP.

Recently the blog world was in an uproar over a post on a blog that caused quite a fervor between married ladies/almost married ladies and single gals. This post is NOT about that! Also, two other bloggers I frequently read both recently posted about blog beefs and "internet gangstas."

This got me to thinking about my own blogger etiquette. Awhile back I mentioned in my Thursday's Thoughts that I had a blog beef with a male blogger. It was about race and complexion. I just happened to be perusing the net checking out a few blogs I frequent and I came across this interesting post from this particular blogger HERE.

I read her comments to her post and came across a response from a guy who frequently comments on her blog. I had no problem with her post. It was her blog and her feelings about race and how her skin color has affected her life. What bothered me was the comment from this dude HERE. Let's call him mr t.

His comment made me feel some kinda way. I ended up responding directly to him and he responded back hence a blog beef ensued. We eventually took our back and forth off her blog (because it was rude) and into email. It didn't matter. He was still all about sarcasm and ignorance. When I encounter people like that I let them be. He clearly was not trying to hear me. He then went so far as to immortalize me (his words) on his blog forever

In retrospect I may have originally came at him hard but I hate ignorance, especially when it comes to race. What struck me even more was after I read stalked his blog for minute LOL! he put up a pic of himself and he is a dark complexioned man even darker than his avatar. This confirmed my thoughts of his own self hatred. He also chose the darkest avatar to represent me. Which in truth I'm closer in complexion to his avatar.

I thought about my comments and wanted your opinions about it. I'm curious after you read my responses if I too am an "internet gangsta". I try to keep my blog trivial and light because my real life is complex, studious, and sometimes hard. This post is where real life and blog world intersect.


K. Rock said...

As long as you keep it in email, to me, it's not a blog beef. When it spills over onto the blogs, it becomes...ummm...beefy.

It just looks like you were passionate. It's understandable.
You have done some introspection about it. That is usually the hardest part.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@K Rock Well it started on the blogs. When we went to email nothing was accomplished and He brought it back to the blogs by trying to clown. Maybe I should post the emails too! I wouldn't have did a whole post about him like he did! When I re-read everything I realized I was pretty passionate!

It's funny what can be a hot button issue for people!
Thanks for commenting! I see people looking but no one is saying anything.

Nexgrl said...

Like K.Rock, I didn't see it as blog beef. I myself would have left the interaction at Sunny's blog. It was obvious to me that he was missing the point. I'm not a fan of dry humor either, so he wouldn't have gotten any further response from me. I've been blogging for 4 years and have seen ugly blog beefs. This just seems like a difference of opinions.

Nexgrl said...

Like your response to K. Rock, I've read blog beefs where everything was posted online, with links to what was left out.

GorgeousPuddin said...

Thanks for responding. I'm glad my "beef" was not really one in the big scheme of things. A difference of opinion? I can accept that. LOL!

GorgeousPuddin said...

@Nexgrl I re-read the emails. He brought all the important parts to his blog.

Anonymous said...

Nah, I'm a new expert on blog beef and this wasn't one! Maybe you got a little froggy, but it wasn't as if you were popping bad just for the hell of it. IMO, stating a dissenting opinion does not begin the beef. Beef starts when people start to become disrespectful, derogatory and condescending. Beef is when folks stalk your blog and make snarky comments about how much they don't like you or your opinions. Huh??? So, nah, I wouldn't classify your debate as beef.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@mrstdj Thanks for the comment. I feel more comfortable thinking I kept it classy, which I tried to do! Good I had a debate and debates are okay in blogland! Yaaay! I had not been back to neither blog until this post.

Nina said...

I think internet gangstas are people who clearly violate and say things in comments they would NEVER EVER say in real life.

at least this explains your gun-shy attitude when leaving comments...

GorgeousPuddin said...

@Nina I wouldn't say gun-shy I just try not to offend, because I can say some stuff that people don't like and I think I know EVERYTHING LOL!

Heart stuff is very touchy. I'm new to your blog so I wouldn't want somebody I don't know coming through here saying crazy stuff to me.
I've only had one person do that and I nicely got him TOLD and he has not been back and he unfollowed me. And that was fine by me.
I'm glad NOT to be an internet gangsta!! Thanks for commenting!

Anonymous said...

The hits for my post increased which led me to believe you did exactly what you wrote you would. Have your students (in this case) your readers read our exchange.

I listened with my ears & not my mouth, completely understanding you, the dis-connect was and still is that you didn't understand that my comment wasn't coming from a place of self-hate & ignorance but rather to explain how "some" have been brain washed into self-hate, leaned from negative connotations & images from the world around them.

I appreciate this post and your readers comments. With your permission I would like to link back to it on my page. Please & Thank you.

"I try to keep my blog trivial and light because my real life is complex,..."

GorgeousPuddin said...

@ Mr.Tramuel
Not a problem. You still seem to think that there was a dis-connect. There isn't.

I still can't seem to get you to understand that the very definition of inferior is inflamatory. No one wants to be thought of as inferior to another! Caucasians for hundreds of years and some still today think African Americans are an inferior race. Even though we are not! And NEVER were!

So to say or write, as I stated before, even in conjecture that dark complexioned women feel inferior on any level to our lighter counter parts is WRONG!!!

Do you as a dark complexioned man feel inferior to lighter complexioned men?? Or white men?? Or Hispanic men?? Or Asian men??
Or Middle Eastern?? Do you?? If so please explain.

It is a normal human emotion to feel envy or jealousy against another human.

But to be inferior is to feel that they are above you, better than you. You are lower, beneath them not as good. To feel that way about ones self is a serious self esteem issue that must be addressed.

We will have to agree to disagree on your wording forever on this.

Thank you.

Jameil said...

It seems like a disconnect to me, too. You went hard on the first response. I got where both of you were coming from. You didn't agree, you don't agree and apparently you won't. There's definitely some blog beef-type stuff happening here with the posting back and forth, linking and cross-linking, going at it in the comments. Since May???? I would go ahead and let that one go. TramueL, there's really no reason to go disrespecting GP's readers who didn't come at you like that. Relax.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@Jameil LOL@blog beef type stuff.

Thanks for commenting!

P.S. I love this... said...

I'm new to this blog beef thing. Never heard of it, not blog gangstas.. it's comical.

I agree that you were passionate about the subject and tried to get so much of your point across in the post that it, touching on my facets..that it may have appeared that you were going hard.

Having read your response to Mr. T, (here in your blog comment section) further illustrated your point, which was more concise and leaves no room for misunderstanding.. in my opinion.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@P.S. Thanks for commenting! I do realize I did go hard. I tried to think back to what was going on and now I remember there was another blog talking about this light skinned/dark skinned (their words)stuff. That had taken it way out of hand and I was already on the verge(of going off LOL!)by the time I read the blog that started it all. I'm working on my issues LOLLOLOLOLOL!!! :))))

Anonymous said...

@Jameil "TramueL, there's really no reason to go disrespecting GP's readers who didn't come at you like that. Relax." My words were that I appreciated GP's post & her readers comments. No dis-respect.

@Gorgeous P'Thank you! I'm not adding additional commentary, just adding your post as a comment to my post. Wishing you all good things.

Bajan Beauty said...

I didn't see it as blog beef. You guys seemed to have a civilized disagreement. I can appreciate that neither of you resorted to name calling or any other childish mannerisms. I'm always interested in how others perceive certain situations and respond to them.

The whole light-skinned/dark-skinned thing touches a nerve with me as well. This is a discussion that can go on forever because everyone feels passionate about their own experiences and incidents.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@Bajan Yeah that's true. It touches a nerve with many on both sides of the arguement. Thanks for commenting!

Don said...

I have engaged in so many "blog beefs" over the years that I had to stop and remember that it was a blog and that I didn't have a scratch on me. I cannot explain it either. Some people just be asking for that side of a person that leaves the person with no other choice but to set it off.

Then again, most of my blog beefs stemmed from pussy (jealousy) and as we all know ... pussy takes everything to an entirely different level. I swear it does.

Nowadays, I would have handled everything differently. But I guess we all live and learn. So gon' dust your shoulders off, GP.

GorgeousPuddin said...

@Don Exactly! What he said struck such a nerve I put my clown hat on and went for it. In retrospect I could've just kept my comments to myself but oh well *shrug*

LOL!@gon' dust your shoulders off, GP.

Women is pimps too! :) LOL!