“It is never too late to be what you might have been.

In 30 days I officially make it to one year at my job. This realization hit me as I was reading the blessings of one of my favorite bloggers who lives and exemplary Christian life and whom you can SEE God's blessings. Catching up on what's been going on in her life prompted me to post. :)

I'm always happy for others and I smile when I read about all the great things happening, but at times I feel some kind of way when I think about me.

 I feel like I should be further in life and I think my layoff  really set me back.

I had to stop before I let that feeling even begin to set in and I remembered that I have much to be thankful for!

1. I found a position with lots of potential for growth.

2. I can move anywhere in the country and have this career and makes lots more money.

3. I'm respected on my job.

4. I just moved up and have a beautiful view of the city from my window.

5. I have a window. *\o/*

6. My supervisor is great and has my back.

7. I actually like what I do. most days

It really just rolls back to me. I personally want things to move faster, the growth to be now. The more money to be now. The catch up to be all the way caught up. I guess it's never too late...

But I think being satisfied and grateful is what I really need to be.

What about your friends?

This started on Twitter when I tweeted about seeing my ex bestie. I really need to get back to blogging and stop using Twitter for emo stuff. I actually hate that I'm blogging about emo stuff. Dah... well. Such is life.

I saw my ex bestie earlier this week.

She looked a pure dang mess.

I was actually shocked that I ran into her because we don't travel in the same circles anymore. Her dude has her completely cut off from who we know.

 But this post in NOT about HIM!

What struck me was her appearance.  I was heart broken and taken aback to see that she has lost most of her hair. She had long luxurious waist length hair and it is almost gone. She was also dressed really sloppy.

I tweeted  "I thought love is supposed to make you better?"

Well isn't it?

It was tragic to see her outside in the world looking so bad. This woman was so similar to me in that she loves nice things! We became friends because of a purse. We were having a casual conversation about designer purses, shoes and all things lovely. A few weeks later she was out shopping and called me to see if I wanted a Kate Spade purse because she found a sale.

I was shocked.

I said sure!

She bought me a purse ( A purse!!!)  and we were friends from then on.

That may sound superficial to y'all but it meant a lot to me because that's the kind of friend I am. If I'm out shopping and I see something I know you would like I buy it just cause.

What has struck me most about our chance meeting is my current sadness. When a friendship ends for whatever reason it may take me a minute to get over it, but when I'm over it that's usually it.

BUT...

I   am   still   sad   from   seeing   her.

Then  I realized today it's because

 I MISS my friend!

She was my confidant. I could tell her all my crazy thoughts and ideas and she would just listen and laugh.

I MISS that.

We traveled together.

I MISS that.

We went out to eat together and partied together.

 I MISS that.

I guess I'm not as hard as I want to be (or as Mia would say I'm soft baked.) I do miss people, I do need people and her absence from my life does matter to me.

Thanks for listening.